11 Ways To Help Yourself To A Better Sex Life
Informed by recognized medical guidance
Overview
Many people experience worries or difficulties with sex at some point. The good news is that there are simple, practical steps you can take to improve your sexual wellbeing and satisfaction. This guide covers 11 self-help ways to boost your sex life, and how to know when to seek professional support.
Key facts
- Good sexual health is about physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing, not just the absence of problems.
- Communication and honesty with yourself and your partner are key to a satisfying sex life.
- Many sexual difficulties are common and can improve with simple lifestyle changes.
- If sex is painful or impossible, there are effective ways to get help — you don't have to 'put up with it'.
Yes. Around half of adults may experience a sexual concern at some point. It is a very common reason people visit a GP.
Sexual concerns affect people of all genders, ages, backgrounds, and relationship types. They can start at any stage of life and often relate more to stress and relationships than to a medical condition.
Symptoms
- A painful erection that lasts more than 4 hours
- Sudden severe chest pain or difficulty breathing during sex
- A sudden, severe headache unlike any you've had before — especially with a stiff neck
- Sudden severe pain or swelling in the testicles
- ⚠Bleeding from the penis or vagina not related to a period
- ⚠New pain during sex that does not settle quickly
- ⚠Any thoughts of self-harm or harming someone else (call emergency immediately)
Common symptoms
- Loss of interest in sex
- Difficulty getting or keeping an erection
- Difficulty reaching orgasm or delayed ejaculation
- Pain during or after sex
- Feeling anxious, embarrassed, or stressed about sex
Symptoms in children
- Sexual problems in children are uncommon. For most children, this topic is not relevant. If you have concerns about your child's development, speak to a health visitor or GP.
Symptoms in older adults
- Older adults may notice changes in desire, arousal, erectile function, or natural lubrication. These changes are often linked to health conditions, medicines, or life transitions, and are nothing to be ashamed of.
Causes
Main causes
- Stress and anxiety — the two most common causes of sexual difficulties
- Relationship problems, including poor communication or unresolved conflicts
- Physical health issues such as diabetes, heart disease, or hormone imbalances
- Certain medicines — some blood pressure, heart, antidepressant, and other medicines can affect sexual function
- Mental health conditions like depression or anxiety
- Excess alcohol, smoking, or recreational drug use
Risk factors
- Getting older — changes in hormone levels and blood flow can affect sexual response
- Living with a long-term condition like diabetes or heart disease
- Taking medicines that affect mood, blood pressure, hormones, or nerve signals
- Having had surgery or treatment to the pelvic area or genitals
- Drinking heavily or using drugs
When to see a doctor
See a doctor urgently if:
- See a doctor the same day if you develop painful sex, unusual bleeding, or sudden difficulty getting or keeping an erection.
Book a routine appointment if:
- Make an appointment with your GP if sexual problems last for more than a month, are affecting your relationship, or are causing you distress.
Diagnosis
A GP or sexual health professional will ask about your symptoms, medical history, and lifestyle. This conversation is completely confidential. They may also do a physical examination and arrange simple tests.
Tests that may be done
- Blood tests to check for diabetes, thyroid issues, or hormone levels
- Blood pressure and heart health checks
- Discussion with you and, if appropriate, your partner
What to expect at your appointment
You may be asked sensitive questions about your sex life, relationships, and general wellbeing. This helps your doctor find the right cause and recommend the most helpful care. You can ask to be seen alone or with a partner.
Treatment
Treatment for sexual difficulties depends on the underlying cause. For many people, self-help strategies are the first step. If they don't work, a healthcare professional can offer talking therapies, behavioural techniques, or medical treatments for underlying conditions.
Self-care at home
- Talk openly and honestly with your partner about what you like, what you need, and what worries you.
- Make time for intimacy — schedule it if needed, just as you would any other important activity.
- Look after your overall health: aim for regular exercise, enough sleep, and a balanced diet.
- Find healthy ways to manage stress, such as deep breathing, meditation, or going for a walk.
- Limit alcohol, and avoid smoking or recreational drugs — these can all affect sexual function.
- Explore different kinds of touch and intimacy — not every encounter has to be sexual to build closeness.
- Use a personal lubricant if you need it — dryness is common and can be easily managed.
- Get to know your own body through self-exploration, so you can guide your partner more effectively.
- Try pelvic floor exercises every day — they can improve sensation and control for both men and women.
- Review any medicines you take with your doctor or pharmacist — some can affect libido, arousal, or performance.
- Seek help early — if self-help isn't enough, talk to a healthcare professional or consider sex therapy.
Medical treatments
Your doctor can discuss treatments tailored to you. Options may include talking therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), sex therapy, or other psychological support. If a medical condition is causing the problem, treating that condition can help. Depending on your situation, a doctor might prescribe medicines to help with certain physical symptoms, always after discussing the risks and benefits with you.
When is surgery considered?
Surgery is rarely needed for sexual difficulties. It may be an option for specific physical problems, such as a blockage in a blood vessel or certain anatomical issues. This is only considered after thorough assessment and discussion with a specialist.
Living with this condition
Try to approach intimacy with honesty and patience. It's okay if things don't always work perfectly. The more relaxed you are, the easier it is to enjoy closeness with your partner.
Lifestyle tips
- Get regular exercise — even a daily walk can improve energy and mood
- Prioritise sleep and rest
- Cut back on alcohol and avoid smoking or recreational drugs
- Take time to relax and reduce stress
- Strong relationships are built on trust and communication — regularly check in with your partner
Diet and exercise
Eating a balanced diet, staying active, and keeping a healthy weight support blood flow, energy levels, and confidence — all of which can help your sex life. There's no special 'sex food', but a Mediterranean-style diet rich in fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and fish is good for heart health and circulation.
Mental health and emotional wellbeing
Sexual difficulties can make you feel anxious, low, or embarrassed. This is understandable, but it's important to know that help is available. Talking to a therapist or counsellor can help you manage these feelings and improve your wellbeing. If you are ever feeling overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to your local emergency or crisis support services immediately.
Prevention
Not all sexual problems can be prevented, but many can be avoided or improved with good communication, regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and managing stress. Regular health check-ups can catch health conditions that might affect your sex life.
Vaccines
Not applicable.
Screening programmes
Regular check-ups with your GP can help detect conditions like diabetes, heart disease, or hormonal changes that can affect sexual function.
Complications
If left untreated
- Ongoing relationship tension or conflict
- Low self-esteem and loss of confidence
- Increased anxiety or depression
- Avoidance of intimacy and close connection
Long-term outlook
The outlook is often very positive. Most sexual difficulties can be improved with a combination of self-help, communication, and professional support. With the right help, many people regain a satisfying and rewarding sex life.
Find support
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Always verify with your doctor
Health guidelines vary by country and region. The information in this article is based on international clinical guidelines but may not reflect the specific guidelines, medications, or practices in your country. Always discuss your health concerns with your own doctor or healthcare provider, and refer to your local national health guidelines where available.
Important notice This information is for educational purposes only. It does not replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider about your specific situation. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call your local emergency services immediately.
Related conditions
Sources and guidance
This article is educational and is prepared with reference to recognized health information and clinical guidance sources where available. Specific source links may vary by topic.
Last updated: July 31, 2026
Educational note: This information is for education only and is not a diagnosis.
Use it to support, not replace, advice from a licensed clinician.
If symptoms are severe, worsening, or urgent, call your local emergency number or seek emergency care.