Family Violence And Children

Overview

Family violence means abuse or violence between people in a family or home. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, or financial, and it can include controlling behavior, threats, and isolation. Children can be hurt directly, or they can be harmed by seeing or hearing violence at home. Family violence is never a child's fault, and it is never okay.

Family violence is common around the world. It affects people of every background, and many cases are hidden. Children can be harmed even when the violence happens in another room or is only heard.

Children of all ages, including babies, and the people who care for them. It can affect any family, regardless of money, culture, religion, or education. Children with disabilities and older adults may be at higher risk.

Symptoms

Common symptoms

• Unexplained bruises, burns, or injuries, or injuries that do not match the story given
• Fear of a family member, flinching, or not wanting to go home
• One person controls money, phone, transport, or who the family sees
• Threats, name-calling, intimidation, or isolation from friends and family
• Children showing sudden changes in behavior, sleep, mood, or schoolwork

Symptoms in children

• Being very clingy, fearful, or easily startled
• Bedwetting, thumb-sucking, or other steps back in development
• Nightmares, trouble sleeping, or fear of bedtime
• Anger, hitting, arguing, or withdrawing from friends
• Trouble concentrating, falling grades, or refusing school
• Headaches, stomach aches, or other body complaints with no clear cause
• Self-harm, suicidal talk, or risky behavior
• Knowing about sex or acting in sexual ways that are not usual for their age
• Not wanting to go home, running away, or saying they feel unsafe
• Taking care of younger siblings in a way that seems too much for their age

Symptoms in older adults

• Unexplained injuries, poor hygiene, weight loss, or dehydration
• Fear or quietness around a family member
• Money, medication, or appointments being controlled by someone else
• Missing appointments or being kept away from friends and services
• Signs of neglect, such as no food, heat, or help with daily care

Causes

Main causes

• Family violence is caused by a person choosing to use power and control over another person.
• It is not caused by a child's behavior, money trouble, stress, or alcohol alone. These can make situations more dangerous, but they do not excuse violence.
• Violence can include physical, sexual, emotional, and financial abuse, and coercive control.
• Children are harmed when they are hurt directly or when they see, hear, or live with violence at home.

Risk factors

• A family member who has used violence or controlling behavior before
• Harmful use of alcohol or drugs in the home
• Untreated mental health problems in a person who is using violence
• Money problems, housing instability, or social isolation
• A history of abuse in the family or in past relationships
• Community or family norms that allow violence or control
• Children with disabilities and older adults may be more vulnerable

When to see a doctor

See a doctor urgently if:

• Any injury from violence, especially to the head, neck, tummy, or private parts
• A child discloses abuse or says they are afraid to go home
• A child talks about self-harm or suicide
• Signs of neglect, such as no food, unsafe housing, or missed medical care
• You are being threatened, followed, or controlled and need help with safety planning

Book a routine appointment if:

• Changes in a child's sleep, mood, eating, school, or behavior that last more than a few weeks
• You want advice about safety, support, or how to talk to a child about violence
• A child has ongoing anxiety, fear, or trauma symptoms
• You need help with housing, money, legal options, or childcare
• You want to make or update a safety plan

Diagnosis

There is no single test for family violence. A doctor, nurse, health visitor, or social worker may talk with you and your child, ask about safety at home, check for injuries, and observe how your child is doing. They may involve child protection or social care if a child may be at risk.

Tests that may be done

• Physical exam and injury check
• Developmental and behavior screening for children
• Mental health screening for children and caregivers
• Safety assessment and safeguarding checks
• Blood tests or scans only if needed to check for injuries or other health problems

What to expect at your appointment

You may be asked questions in a private space, sometimes separately. A child may be spoken to in a child-friendly way. The doctor will explain what is confidential and what may need to be shared to keep a child safe. You can ask for an interpreter, a trusted person, or a private appointment.

Treatment

The first goal is safety for the child and anyone else at risk. Treatment brings together health, social care, school, and legal support. Children do best when they are safe and have a stable, caring adult who believes them.

Self-care at home

• If there is immediate danger, call your local emergency number.
• Tell a trusted adult, GP, health visitor, school staff, or local support service.
• Make a safety plan: a safe room, a code word, important documents, a charged phone, and a bag with essentials if you can do so safely.
• Do not confront the person using violence if it could make things more dangerous.
• Keep routines for children where possible and reassure them that the violence is not their fault.
• Ask for an interpreter or a private appointment if you need one.
• Look after your own sleep, meals, and health, and accept practical help from people you trust.

Medical treatments

Medical care may include treatment for injuries, sexual health care if needed, and mental health support. Children and caregivers can be offered trauma-focused talking therapy, counseling, and help from domestic abuse or child protection services. Schools can put support in place. A doctor may also discuss medicine for related problems such as anxiety, depression, or sleep problems, but medicine does not stop violence. Safety and support come first.

When is surgery considered?

Surgery is not a treatment for family violence. Surgery or other hospital care may be needed for serious injuries. A doctor will explain if that is the case.

Living with this condition

Day to day, focus on safety, predictable routines, and open, gentle communication. Believe a child if they tell you something. Use simple words: it is not your fault, you are not in trouble, and adults are working to keep you safe. Keep school and health appointments informed if it is safe to do so. Update your safety plan as things change.

Lifestyle tips

• Build a small network of trusted people you can call.
• Keep a phone charged and important numbers saved if it is safe.
• Use routines, rest, and gentle activity to lower stress.
• Limit contact with the person using violence if that is safe and allowed.
• Avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope; ask for help instead.
• Ask your GP or local service about practical help with housing, money, and legal options.

Diet and exercise

Regular meals, water, and rest matter. Gentle movement such as walking, stretching, or play can help children and adults manage stress. There is no special diet that treats family violence. If money is tight, ask a local service about food support.

Mental health and emotional wellbeing

Family violence can cause shock, fear, shame, anger, grief, anxiety, depression, and trauma symptoms. Children may show this through behavior, sleep, or school. These reactions are common and can improve with safety and support. If you or a child has thoughts of self-harm or suicide, contact your local emergency number or a local crisis service straight away. You do not have to cope alone.

Prevention

Family violence can be prevented, but the answer is not to blame victims. Prevention means safe, stable relationships for children; early help for families under stress; support for alcohol and drug problems and mental health; and teaching healthy relationships and consent. Communities, schools, and health services can all help. If you are worried, seek advice early.

Vaccines

There is no vaccine for family violence.

Screening programmes

Health professionals may ask about safety at routine appointments, antenatal visits, child health checks, and emergency visits. This is called routine enquiry. There is no routine blood test or scan for family violence.

Complications

If left untreated

• Physical injuries, disability, or, in rare severe cases, death
• Trauma symptoms, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress
• Sleep problems, bedwetting, headaches, and stomach aches
• Trouble at school, falling grades, and leaving school early
• Anger, aggression, withdrawal, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts
• Problems with trust, relationships, and feeling safe
• Higher risk of being hurt or using violence later in life
• Money problems, housing loss, and isolation from support

Long-term outlook

With safety and support, children and families can recover. Early help, a trusted adult, and stable routines make a real difference. Healing is not a straight line, and support should continue for as long as it is needed.

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