Living with bereavement support overview

Overview

Bereavement is the time after losing someone you love. Grief is the deep sadness, pain, and other feelings that come with that loss. Support for bereavement includes kind, practical help to help you cope with these feelings and adjust to life without the person who died.

Yes. Almost everyone experiences grief at some point in their lives. It is a natural response to losing someone close. You are not alone, and help is available.

Bereavement can affect anyone—people of all ages, backgrounds, and cultures. It happens after the death of a family member, friend, partner, child, or even a beloved pet. Each person's grief is unique, and circumstances like your relationship with the person and how they died can shape your experience.

Symptoms

Common symptoms

• Deep sadness or emptiness
• Feeling numb, shocked, or in disbelief
• Crying often or feeling unable to stop
• Anger at the person, yourself, doctors, or others
• Guilt about things said or not said, or things done or not done
• Tiredness, low energy, or difficulty concentrating
• Changes in sleep—sleeping too little or too much
• Changes in appetite—eating more or less than usual

Symptoms in children

• Becoming clingy or upset when separated from caregivers
• Playing or talking about the person as if they were still alive
• Changes in behaviour—being more withdrawn, angry, or anxious
• Regression, such as bedwetting or baby talk in younger children
• Asking many questions about death and what happens after
• Difficulty sleeping or nightmares

Symptoms in older adults

• More physical symptoms, such as aches, pains, or a heavier feeling in the chest
• Feeling isolated or alone, especially if friends have also died
• Trouble remembering things or thinking clearly
• Losing interest in activities they used to enjoy
• Fear about their own health or death
• Difficulty filing paperwork, dealing with finances, or making decisions

Causes

Main causes

• The death of a close family member, such as a partner, parent, or child
• The death of a close friend or colleague
• The death of a child, including a miscarriage or stillbirth
• The death of a beloved pet
• Sudden or unexpected deaths, such as from an accident, suicide, or a fast illness
• Long-term illnesses, where you may have been caring for the person for a long time

Risk factors

• Losing someone very close to you, such as a partner or child
• A death that was sudden, violent, or traumatic
• Having little support from family, friends, or the community
• Multiple losses close together
• Having a history of depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems
• Being isolated or far from your usual support network

When to see a doctor

See a doctor urgently if:

• If you have thoughts of suicide or self-harm, seek help right away. Call your local emergency number or go to a hospital emergency department.
• If you feel you cannot take care of your own basic needs, such as eating, drinking, or staying safe, seek same-day help from a healthcare provider.

Book a routine appointment if:

• If your grief feels overwhelming and is not easing after several months
• If you have trouble doing your daily activities, like going to work or caring for your family
• If you are using alcohol, drugs, or overeating to cope
• If you have severe depression or anxiety symptoms that interfere with your life
• If you need guidance on how to support a grieving child

Diagnosis

Grief is not a medical condition that can be diagnosed with a test. A healthcare professional, such as a doctor or counsellor, will listen to your story and ask how you have been feeling, sleeping, eating, and managing everyday life. They will want to understand how your loss has affected you and whether you are developing other problems, like depression.

Tests that may be done

• There are no blood tests or scans for grief.
• Your doctor may ask you to fill out a short questionnaire about your mood and anxiety.
• If you have physical symptoms, the doctor may do a basic check to make sure there are no other health issues.

What to expect at your appointment

The conversation is private and unhurried. The healthcare professional will not judge you or tell you to 'get over it'. They may talk about normal grieving, offer reassurance, and suggest support options. If appropriate, they may refer you to a bereavement counsellor or a local support group. They will also ask about your safety and well-being, which is a routine part of care.

Treatment

Treatment for grief focuses on support, not a 'cure'. Grief is a natural process, but sometimes people need extra help to find their way through it. Support can come from talking to friends and family, joining a bereavement support group, or seeing a professional counsellor or therapist. Some people also find relief in gentle physical activity, creative activities, or spiritual practices.

Self-care at home

• Give yourself permission to grieve—allow yourself to cry, rest, or simply sit with your feelings.
• Talk to people you trust about your loss and the person who died, when you feel ready.
• Keep a simple routine for meals, sleep, and daily tasks—this can feel grounding.
• Try gentle exercise, like short walks, to help your body release tension.
• Avoid using alcohol, nicotine, or other substances to escape grief, as they can make feelings harder in the long run.
• Consider writing in a journal or making a memory box to help you express emotions.

Medical treatments

There is no specific medication for grief itself. However, if your grief is very complicated or triggers clinical depression or anxiety, a healthcare professional might talk about treatment options such as talking therapies (for example, counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy) and, in some cases, antidepressant medication. Any medication would be offered with careful explanation and regular follow-up. You should never take medications that have not been prescribed for you.

When is surgery considered?

Not applicable. Bereavement is an emotional process, not a condition that requires surgery. If grief leads to a physical health problem that needs surgery, your medical team would treat that separately, while also supporting your emotional needs.

Living with this condition

Grief can feel like waves of emotion that come and go. Some days will be harder than others, and certain dates—like anniversaries or birthdays—can be especially painful. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Set small, manageable goals each day. Accept that your focus and energy may be lower for a while. It can help to tell family and friends what you need, whether that is company, practical help, or simply time alone.

Lifestyle tips

• Keep a regular sleep schedule and create a restful bedtime routine.
• Eat balanced meals at regular times, even if you do not feel hungry.
• Move your body in ways that feel gentle, like stretching or short walks.
• Limit caffeine and alcohol, especially in the evening.
• Spend time outdoors in daylight, which can help your mood and sleep.
• Stay connected—send a message, call someone, or meet a friend for a coffee.

Diet and exercise

Grief can affect your appetite and energy, but your body still needs fuel. Try to eat small, regular meals and drink enough water. If cooking feels too hard, ask someone to help or prepare simple meals. Gentle exercise, such as walking, swimming, or yoga, can help release emotional tension and improve your sleep. It does not need to be intense—just moving a little each day can help your mind and body.

Mental health and emotional wellbeing

Grief can feel very much like depression, with low mood, exhaustion, and loss of interest in things you used to enjoy. While grief is not the same as a mental illness, it can sometimes trigger or worsen problems like anxiety or depression. If your feelings become overwhelming or do not start to lift after many months, it is important to speak to a healthcare professional. You deserve support, and there is no shame in asking for it.

Prevention

Bereavement is a part of life and cannot be prevented. Grief is a natural, healthy response to loss. However, the intensity of suffering can be lessened with strong support, open communication, and gentle self-care. You cannot speed up the process, but you can create a safe environment for yourself to heal.

Vaccines

Not applicable. There is no vaccine to prevent grief or loss.

Screening programmes

There is no routine screening test for grief. Healthcare professionals may ask about your emotional well-being during regular check-ups, especially if you have had a recent loss. If you are concerned about a grieving child or older adult, ask their doctor or school nurse for advice.

Complications

If left untreated

• Complicated grief, where intense feelings continue for a long time and make it hard to live your life
• Clinical depression or persistent anxiety
• Increased use of alcohol, tobacco, or other substances to cope
• Social isolation, including withdrawing from friends and family
• Sleep problems that can affect physical health
• Difficulty returning to work, school, or caring responsibilities
• In some cases, physical health problems like high blood pressure or a weakened immune system

Long-term outlook

Most people find that grief gradually softens with time, even though the sense of missing someone may never fully go away. With support from loved ones, health professionals, support groups, or a counsellor, you can learn to live meaningfully while honouring the memory of the person you lost. It is a difficult journey, but many people do find peace and renewed purpose. You are not alone, and reaching out for help is a brave and hopeful step.

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